Missing my 20-s

November 30, 2015 at 7:59 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I got married when I was 23. Gosh, Just a kid, I think now. Though it did not seem all that young, back then – when does it ever? Arranged by my parents. I had my issues, but finally shut and walked through it.

I remember once returning home, a couple of months after the wedding, and feeling happy about going to someone. You were not adrift anymore, right? A sense of not been cut out. A sense of having a home, actually. A good part of that was relief – the process of meeting some one, trying to figure out if they were good for you, ugh!

Now, 12 years later, the regrets creep in. Slowly. I miss having the world open for me. When we get married we trade something to get that sense of belonging. Well, sometimes I miss that something. At 35, I feel like I am a staid old 70. Sheesh. This feels like existence. I want to live. 

 

 

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